Cracker Conspiracy 

You know those days that start off by telling you it might be best to back to bed? Those days that 6:20 in the morning comes up and already you just know it is going to be a weird one.

My kids pulled off their joint caper this morning and I nearly called off work. 

The sound of silence means something is afoot. Kids are not quiet unless they are doing something they know to be wrong. Not even wrong, if they know they are doing something that will result in a parental “come on, man” they get deathly quiet. 

At 6:20 in the morning, I am capable of registering silence. They boys had been playing with cars and reading books, so I went about morning chores after getting them dressed. My wife was readying for work, so the two were left to entertain each other. 

Normally that is not such a bad thing. They like each other and tend to just run from one room to another if they have parental supervision or not. This morning though they wanted animal crackers. 

I don’t know how it happened, but I imagine it began with the toddler running to the pantry and saying “cracker” over and over until his brother picked up on the hint. The firstborn pulled down the bucket of sugar cookies disguised as crackers and unscrewed the lid. Then it was like crocodiles on a zebra that went too close to the water, and a cookie frenzy occurred. 

In the time it took me to brush my teeth they had probably eaten a dozen each (and, funny enough, needed their own teeth brushed). 

I went into the dining room and saw the cracker massacre (crakasscre?)  and could not find the words to match the moment. 

It was an odd start. 


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