Hazard


The toddler enjoys housework.  Or so he tells us.  I am pretty sure he just likes hitting me with a mop handle.  And knocking stuff off counters with the mop handle.  Inevitably we do have to trade him, cracker for the mop.  He’s totally playing us.

About a week ago, I took a few days off of work to be with my sons. It was plenty of fun, but I will be in my mid-30s before I catch up on sleep from those five days. In our time together, the toddler learned a very important lesson; run dad down and you can do anything.

In the picture above, the toddler is running around with a dry mop.  Where the mop came from, I will never know.  What I do know is that brooms, mops, dust pans, and vacuum cleaners are pretty big deals in the wee guy’s world.  If a broom appears in his field of view, he will drop whatever he has and run to get the broom.  I am pretty sure the firstborn did this too, but I have no idea.  Right now the firstborn is super into gloves and mittens.  Kids are weird.

Note in the picture that the mop handle is pretty much right underneath the camera.  It was in my nose a beat later.  When I pressed the button to snap the photo the handle was pointed a different direction entirely.  Cheetahs are not fast enough to keep up with the toddler in the middle of a cleaning frenzy.  My nose survived, but he went a step further following my audible “argh”, he looked up at me and laughed.

This is far from my first post about being laughed at by the toddler.  It will not be the last.  He hit me with a mop and knew he’d get away with it because he learned over the course of our mini-vacation together that if he does this stuff once the sun goes down I certainly do not have the energy to take away his implement of destruction.  He can just wave that dang green mop around and wait for the crackers to come his way.

I have adopted a new parenting style.  I call it “run!” I will likely use this technique until the toddler has moved into ‘kid’ status.

 

I have a new book out. People on the Highway Volume 2, it is free until November 20 right here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017Z4WJHK  A lunch-hour read with plenty of humorous short stories about commuters.

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