Characters from Voicemail

I wonder at times if, in the year plus or so of regular blogging and story writing, I’ve become insufferable.  Everything that happens now, from meal prep to actual tragedy can be wrapped into some story arch or character plot. Sorry friends and family, I’m probably incorporating our interactions into a book.   You know what I really like about writing? Any sort of off-putting adventure encountered is made better knowing that it can be reworked for a story at some point.

Yesterday I was supposed to have a phone meeting on my lunch break.  I went to my lunch break and awaited the phone call.  And waited.  And waited.  After about 15 minutes, I get an email saying that a voice mail had been left for me and to call back when I have a moment.  The thing is, it is impossible to leave a voice mail for me.

At our most recent “phone upgrade event” my wife was helped by a very nice, but very new, associate.  The process apparently went quickly enough and she came home with two new phones (me with an iPhone, her with a Samsung and we don’t talk about it anymore).  My wife noticed that she was not getting text messages that same evening.  She called the support team and found out that while phone calls were being routed to the new phone properly, texts were not.  A few button clicks later and she was ready to go.

We did not find out my voicemail stuff was not working until months later when my mom mentioned that my voicemail was “funky.”  She let me know this via text, so I didn’t check it out until a few weeks later when I tried to set up my voicemail box.  I never actually check my voicemail, so this is a low priority situation.  I tried to figure out how to fix it and it turns out that not only is my voicemail not working, when people are sent to voicemail they are greeted with a message that basically says, “this voicemail box does not exist,” and the call ends.

I have known about this for a very long time and have done nothing to fix it.  It is a really handy way to never have to deal with voicemail.  I just call numbers back (for the three a month I get).  All of this is on me, a phone call to the phone company’s tech team is going to resolve the matter.  I just don’t know how much I miss voicemail though.

Getting an email that said, “I left a voicemail,” and knowing that is was outright lie made the whole thing a bit better.  I was not really thrilled about the scheduled call, but it was going to help out the other party, so nothing was really lost.

And here’s the fun part of the experience.  Now I have a tale, a character to use later.

Perhaps in a King shall call upon a powerful sorceress to cast a spell upon crops, a spell that will make the crops better, stronger, (she has the technology?).  When the time comes to cast the spell, the sorceress actually uses a different spell and the crops fail.  She’ll blame it on her apprentice and the King will say, “shucks” and the empire two hills over will make a boat-load of money in extra trade tariffs.

Maybe an airship will need help from dreaded sky pirates and their call for aide will be answered by a brave hero with his plane always at the ready to beat back baddies.  But the hero mishears the airship’s coordinates and heads the wrong way.  When asked by the media what happened, he’ll simply say “I was too late.”  Leaving out the rest of the story.

The glorious part of writing is being able to rework real life into something else, something just as silly and absurd and blindingly fun, but with dragons.  What a tremendously awesome thing to do.

I still have no intention of fixing my voicemail issues.

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One thought on “Characters from Voicemail

  1. I don’t listen to my voice messages anyway. Neither do the people I have to call during the day at my job. They just call back, saying they missed a call from this number. I generally leave a very detailed and professional message about why I called, but since they appear not to listen to it, they are unprepared and have no idea who I am when they call back.
    I work for a state tax agency, by the way, so it’s funny when they call back not realizing that.

    Liked by 1 person

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