Devan Evaluates the Variables

“Two puffs of smoke erupted nearly simultaneously from my shoulders.”

“‘Do it,’ the miniature shoulder mounted demonic me said into my left ear.”

“‘Don’t do it,’ the miniature shoulder mounted angelic me said to my right ear.”

“I swatted both shoulders and smashed them.  Binary decisions do not exist.  The world is made of gray areas and listening to only two view points, two view points incapable of understanding the opposing argument, are certainly not where I would prefer to get my information.  We have to really think things through.  There is more difficulty to the world than good and bad, right and wrong and forcing us to think that way is only going to further polarize our camps.”

Devan’s mother, Traci, waited for her son to finish talking and savored one last sip of her afternoon coffee.

“That’s what you told Mr. Sandoval?” She asked.

“Yeah, and then he sent me to the principal’s office,” Devan made the decision sound irrational.

“What were the shoulder mounted mini-yous coercing you into doing or not doing again?”

“Mom! Have you been listening?  This stems from a problem at lunch.  Pollie pushed Jedson, but Jedson deserved it because he moved her backpack without telling her.  In response, Jedson’s friend Kali took Pollie’s friend April’s apple sauce.  The apple sauce found its way into the turtle tank and and Lawrence got in trouble because it is his week to care for the turtle.”

“Lawrence being your BFF?” Traci asked.

“You’ve met him on three occasions, mom.  I needed to avenge him, so I found myself near Rosalie’s cubby.”

“And that was when Mr. Sandoval showed up and asked you what you were doing with the cupcake?” Traci asked.

“Yes, and he saw me weighing the available options,” Devan thought his case had been made.

“This is some real fourth grade Game of Thrones stuff, you know that?”

“What’s that?”

“Oh thank goodness you don’t know.  Tomorrow just listen to your teacher and be nice to your classmates.  Your shoulder demons will now have my face on them and the only they say is ‘don’t be dumb’, you understand?” Traci did not mean for it to be a question.

“I must profess my disagreement.  There are social workings at play that require a careful evaluation of multiple variables.” Devan professed his disagreement.

“You know you’re nine, right?  Be nice and be fearful of your mother.  Those are your two variables to evaluate.  Go do your homework.  And no more internet without me.  I need to read whatever you’re reading.”  Traci dismissed her child and waited until he was well out of earshot and muttered, “only way I can keep up.”



Thanks for reading!



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