People on the Highway

I took a number of geology classes in college.  I thought they rocked, so it was gneiss to take part in the study of earth’s physical history.  Prior to college, I took our relative geologic stability for granite.

Thank you folks, I’ll be here all night!

In one of these courses, a 102 or something entry level like that, we took a field trip.  Field trips in college are embarrassing all the way around.  It is like calling your teacher “mom” in elementary school, but your conscious of how juvenile the whole thing is.  It was totally practical and the only way to get a real understanding of the work is to get into the field.  However, a group of 19 year olds trying to get a gen-ed credit out of the way have little to no interest field work, but plenty of interest in trying to impress potential mates in incredibly dumb ways.  My one memory of the trip is yelling at some classmates about throwing rocks at ducks during our lunch break.  Field trips in college are dumb.

There is one other memory; the passenger van.  A four row GMC behemoth that smelled of despair from previous trips.

I saw one of these enormous vehicles, empty -aside from the driver-, driving down the highway.  At first glance, I was transported back to that odd trip.  Then I saw the driver.

Today’s Tale: She’s a Planner

Lumbering box on wheels in the best way to describe the passenger van.  This thing could 12, maybe 15 people; 20 if every one really likes each other.  White exterior, shiny black tires and windows that do not open; the ideal means to get groups of people to one place not too far away.  The van is empty right now, I’m not sure if the driver is on her way to pick people up or just dropped people off.

What I can tell, the driver is busy planning her next part of the day.  She’s a planner through and through.  Her phone calendar is full of colors and dots letting her know what is to be done at every given point of the day.  She has a nose piercing in her left nostril; she scheduled the piercing appointment two months in advance and ordered the first nose-ring a week before.  She spends the hour before any big drive plugging in destinations to her GPS unit; gas stations, fast food, drop-off points.

With an empty van and nothing but highway ahead of her, she is planning her most important decision of the year; Halloween costume.

Every year she hosts the end all and be all of Halloween parties.  Music, dancing, a kiddie pool of booze in her apartment’s courtyard; her party is the destination of every vodka loving late 20s kid in town.  There are cheesy decorations, banners, and a “cool because its uncool” theme every year.  Last year was unicorn figurines.  The year before that, Lone Ranger But Not Offensive.  Her first year was themed Joe Estevez movies.  She expects much from her guests.

Right now she is thinking the party’s theme will be Pop Tarts, but that’s mostly because she’s hungry.  The key to it all is her costume.  Nothing matters if her costume is off target.  For the Joe Estevez costume was her in a sheriff’s outfit being heckled by the Mystery Science Theater silhouettes.  The Long Ranger costume was her as an apologetic Johnny Depp.  Unicorn figurine was an incredibly elaborate costume that she spent countless hours putting together.  The photos received hundreds of well deserved Instagram ‘likes’.

She will spend the next week planning the theme, figuring out a costume around it and then designing the evite. A week after the evite goes out, she’ll begin working with an Etsy card designer that she adores.  She expects RSVPs by September 25th.  She needs time to plan for food.

It is an impressive skill, foresight.  I am driving the road and still trying to plan tonight’s dinner.


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