The Answer was Obvious

There’s an odd thing that happens once a baby hits six months, people start asking the parents if another one is coming.  We have two boys, two very loud and rambunctious boys.  So now we get comments like, “so, you going to try for a girl?” from day care, friends, “jokes” from parents.  Apparently when the baby hits six months old, the human mind switches to really awkward question mode.   I don’t remember this with the firstborn, but I suspect we looked a bit more tired the first go around.  “Baby in glasses” is a pretty good red flag that something went a little differently than the average, so save your questions for later.

But of course once the question is out there, it is something that has to be addressed.

Our answer came by way of the six month old suddenly wide awake at 10:00 at night. He’s trying to break a tooth, so he’s more drool than baby at this point. When attempting to bounce him back to sleep I went through two shirts. He was not content with being simply a wide awake mess of slime either, so he upped the ante to spitting up everywhere. Everywhere. He was like Linda Blair for a while. We have so much laundry to do. He smelled awful, would not stop droning on and even when we put him back to bed, he sat in his crib and tried with all his might to grab the monitor and in that process slammed himself into the crib mattress causing our walls to shake like a Skrillex show was happening in his bedroom.

No. No we are not having anymore children.  I’m out of arms to carry small humans and my coffee intake is up beyond reasonable levels now.

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