It never stops amazing me just how dumb my kids think I am.
Let’s examine the newborn for a moment. We have plenty if tactile toys and even more shiny objects for him to examine. I place the toys around him and try to show him what to do. He looks me square in the eyes, raises an eyebrow and turns himself around. He darts to the edge of the big rug in our family room and spends a solid couple minutes lifting it up and setting it down. He has a much better idea.
When it is time for a bottle, he has a much better idea of trying to look at something behind him.
If I say, “it’s nap time, little buddy.” He responds with, “I have a better idea, I’m going to yell and cough I your face for ten minutes.” I was foolish for even suggesting the nap concept.
Or my favorite, “enjoy that new, nice and dry diaper buckaroo.” The response is often given with a grin, “silly dad, I have a better idea.”
The oldest child is really a pro and letting me know I am not very bright and his ideas are the only valid ones. This very afternoon I has the crazy idea of having him eat lunch.
He had a different plan. “Dad, I have a better idea. Let’s watch eight episodes of Power Rangers and I’ll play out the fighting scenes. And when I’m obviously tired from hi-yawing for an hour straight, then I’ll eat lunch as a way to avoid a much, much needed nap.”
There’s the ol’ “don’t hit people with swords” argument. He has the much better idea of only hitting bad guys with swords and wouldn’t you know it? Mom and Dad are now the bad guys.
I say, “you can’t have fruit snacks now, dinner is almost ready.” The firstborn says, ” I have a better idea, fruit snacks can be my side dish.”
One day I will be viewed as a smart person. One with ideas grounded in experience and good intentions. A person that has weighed variables to come to a decision of best benefit. That day will likely come along with the boys asking for help making a rent payment, but it will be a glorious day decades from now.