I have had my fill of driving for the week. Yesterday’s hour there, hour back drive to the eye clinic turned into an hour and a half there, hour and forty minutes back drive thanks to construction and hitting morning and lunch time rush hours in two different regions of the good ol’ Front Range. Today the streets were a hell scape of snow and ice turning the mundane drive to daycare into that scene from a movie where all traffic is stopped and someone gets out of their car to ask a driver literally three cars ahead what happened and the other driver for some reason knows exactly what’s going on and then the first driver starts running up ahead to see for themselves…we weren’t moving fast and there were flashing lights all over the place is what I’m getting at here.
I’ve seen a ton of drivers over the last couple of days. Yesterday’s trek being so wildly long the kid spent most of it asleep, so there was plenty of opportunity to sit at lights and
judge watch folks just get to where they were going. You know that opening scene in the movie Dogma where fallen angels Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are in the airport just watching people, taking in the joy and peace of others as a long journey coming to an end? Sitting in construction traffic is nothing like that.
Today’s tale is titled: It Seemed Like a Good Idea
A bright yellow Hummer H3 is parked in front of me. There’s a sign ahead of us letting everyone know the left lane is going to end soon so of course there are cars speeding along in that lane trying to get into the right lane at the very last possible moment. Hummer H3 guy is unamused by these shenanigans and I see in the side-mirror a few choice hand gestures sent at these annoying drivers. I like H3 guy.
The back window of the car has an advertisement for some sort of paleo-diet bar. I have no idea what a paleo-bar consists of, but this guy is all about it. I am willing to bet that somewhere in that giant car are a pair of oversized mirrored sunglasses, a Cartman plush, a copy of the DaVinci Code and a duffel bag from Sports Illustrated. This guy holds onto fads and does not let go.
He still quotes “The Mask” consistently and while he reached peak cool in the late 90s, his friends still laugh at his jokes and make sure he comes to all of their parties. Eiffel 65 plays loudly in the confines of the car and the quality of the air drumming is superb. Right now he’s driving to his gym where’s he is known as the “good guy”. He helps the newbies, does not brag about his own upper bench press limit and extols the virtues of the paleo diet like he’s a missionary out to convert heathen Atkins followers. If you need a spot, he’s there in a flash to help out.
He’s really into Jimmy Fallon clips on YouTube right now and they make up he majority of his Facebook feed. He doesn’t know many of the faces showing up on the clips, but he knows funny and really wants to make sure other people know that he knows funny.
The plan for today’s fitness regime is arm focused. He saw less definition around the barb wire tattoo that goes around his upper right arm (twice) and he’s not too happy about that. Right now he’s using the down time to check on his Clash of Clans city.
He may live from fad to fad, but this is one joyful guy. He’s not too proud to admit to mistakes like the Taz tattoo on his thigh or the vast collection of laserdiscs he owns, and that time in the early 2000s when he only listened to Linkin Park. This are bits of his history, all things that brought him to this place and there’s no reason to be ashamed of his fondness of trend. He did have Guy Fierri hair for a week when he was learning to cook. That one he regrets.